While I was setting up my desk today, I came across something I wrote last summer. In the piece I had said that “all wrong turns inevitably lead to adventure and broken hearts are bandaged with lessons learned and lingering memories eventually fade with time.” And here I am…one year later.

I am on a new adventure. I have learned that it is never the other person, but myself I do not know how to forgive when someone hurts me. And, those memories—though still searing to the touch—are darkening. When things are bad, they will always, always be better again.

For right now, I’ll keep thinking of the immediate goodness in my life because it is the one true way I will laugh and I will smile and I will beam. To stay here and in the present is how I live my best life.

  • I ordered a Chemex coffee pot and electric kettle for my classroom. I’m not entirely sure either is allowed in my classroom but you know, a girl needs her mid-afternoon caffeine fix.
  • I have a girl crush on one of my teammates—she’s so cute and nice and a fellow English major. We are meeting to run in the morning even though we have no scheduled practice and I’m just so elated to be a part of a team again with such kind people.
  • Everyone in my life—my waterpark coworkers, cooperating teacher, family, friends, and teammates—have reached out to congratulate me on my new job and they are all just so proud of me. It makes me feel so loved to know all of these people believe in me. Laura and my Aunt continue to offer their wealth of resources. My friends are just so happy for me; Mike couldn’t even talk to me he was so speechlessly excited. My new colleagues are so warm, welcoming, and inviting; I am particularly fond of the office secretary. And me…I am overwhelmingly nervous, but I am quietly saying to myself, “You did something worth it Marissa, you proved something to yourself. It is time to start believing just like everyone else.”

wistfullycountry: heirloom tomato galette + lemon balm almond pesto & chevre by Beth Kirby | {local milk} on Flickr.

≫ A quiet moment before start.
Unaccompanied Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major, BWV 1007: Prélude by Yo-Yo Ma. #VSCOcam #onthetable (at ➳ Woodland)

the season is right around the corner…

Under the stars last night.

Is this even real life? This morning I woke-up shaking from a dream that only hurt because it wasn’t my reality, making today an actual nightmare. And now, now I’m shaking from a reality I didn’t believe could come true.


Another Feather via Laura Dart @dartphoto

A Wednesday To-do List—

  • Go for a run; reintroduce myself to roads I haven’t visited in a while.
  • Eat a balanced breakfast that includes my grandmother’s homemade zucchini bread while reading The Secret History and sipping coffee outside in the sunshine.
  • Spend time in a coffee shop writing. I cannot let myself be afraid of feeling. I cannot let myself be afraid of who I am, of the past, of what I might look like in the coming months. I must continue to breathe.
  • Talk to a stranger about passion.