I feel better, more emotionally detached from who you are now. But I still keep thinking about who we were and that relationship is what my mind will take time eclipsing. I could sit with you, talk to you, hug you, and even laugh with you today. I could be with you. And, I could recognize and hold in the physical space between us that we won’t work long-term; my feelings for you in our present have metamorphosed to reflect hope for a seamless continuation of our friendship. Moving on will be easier now than it would have been if we hadn’t seen each other. However, the past still haunts me and I need to find ways that will deflect the pain those memories bring about. I’m going to miss that “us” for a while because that was the first sort of “us” I believed in. I know that I am no longer in love with you, but I think I am still harboring our love from that past. It’s lingering and part of me wants to reignite it, but mostly I just want to bury it in a graveyard of broken hearts. 

Not even home could heal me; you were everywhere—in every bed, at the kitchen stove, reading in the chair next to me while I slept off my fever on the couch. I am so angry at you for intoxicating my favorite place in the world and so incredibly sad I can no longer share it with you. The only thing that distracts me from thinking about you now is fixating all my energy on tiresome, frustrating, nonsensical crossword puzzles. I can’t even read.

Home is the only remedy for every malady <3

I am just so angry, so fucking angry at you for being such a coward. I hate everything about tonight and what I hate even worse is that I can’t hate the last six months, you fucking fool.


i have never seen a video game bring boys closer together and/or tear them apart, than super smash brothers…


Two pups and adult
By Instinct Film
‘Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous. Go the whole hog. Make sure everything you do is so completely crazy it’s unbelievable.
- Dahl, Roald (2003-03-06). Matilda (p. 160). Penguin Books Ltd. Kindle Edition.  (via oniric-mermaid)

I have so much anxiety that I think my head and chest just might explode.